What I didn't expect...

There's a lot about motherhood that I didn't realize prior to Jake making his grand entrance last year. For instance, sleep deprivation (the 1-2 hour blocks of sleep right after Jake was born) wasn't too bad, until I suddenly started getting more sleep (3-4 hour blocks) and became utterly useless. And I didn't know that 5 hours of sleep could feel so good when your child is 2 months old, but so bad when he's almost a year.

I also didn't expect to be picking pieces of poop out of my son's hair when he had a case of explosive diarrhea at 4 am. I didn't expect to pick pieces of poop out of the tub during bath time. And I didn't expect to talk about poop nearly as often as I now obviously do.

I had no idea there was such a thing as breast milk oversupply, nor how easy AND difficult pumping at work would be. I had no idea that I could lose weight so quickly, nor that 140 pounds before a baby looks waaaay different than 140 post-pregnancy-pounds. I didn't realize how lucky I would be if my body made enough milk for Jake, or any milk at all. I had no clue how utterly amazing nursing would be, and how sad it would feel to think about stopping as my son's first birthday edged closer.

I never knew how proud I could be of a tiny little baby boy who just learned to smile, to laugh, to sit up, to crawl, or to walk. I didn't know that clapping and bouncing to the alphabet song could be so much fun. And I wasn't ready for my breath to be taken away when my little boy looked at me for the first time and said "mama" (just this morning).

Most of all, I never knew I could love someone so much, with every fiber of my being, as if he were created just for me to love and care for. Because he was. Happy first birthday to the most amazing human being I ever laid eyes on - my little Jakey (who evidently doesn't like birthday hats).