That boy ain't right

Sometimes I wonder about my little boy,

• when he opens the door repeatedly onto his head, turns back at me and Ben smiling, then goes back to his head banging routine.

• when he tries to nurse my arm or leg, usually leaving behind a disturbingly apparent hickey.

• when he repeatedly pushes his toy walker into a wall, or his crib, or the stove, grunting at the fact that physics defy his will.

• when I walk into his nursery, only to find him crawling around his room with his Leap Frog table stuck on his back.

• when he puts his head face down into the bubble bath, takes a drink of the water, then lifts his head up with a bubbly mustache.

Blue fish nicely complements the flavor of soapy bath water.

And then there's my husband. Ben read Guess How Much I Love You to Jake before bed tonight, and he decided to give Big Nut Brown Hare the voice of that crazy dude played by Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade:

"Hmmm, I love you right up to the moon and, hmmm, back. Hmmm."

Yeah, that boy ain't right.