Jake's favorite babysitters

Jake has two almost-always available babysitters: doors and balls.

He's also quite fond of emptying kleenex boxes, but I fear over-utilizing this resource may lead to massive deforestation.

Obviously, gifted and talented

There's a small chance I'm biased, but my son appears to be a prodigy. At a mere 11 months of age, ake's consistently using the "milk" sign, and this morning marked his first usage of the sign for "more". He also has started (mostly) correctly matching these colored shapes when Ben or I ask which one goes with the one in his hand. And although he's not walking yet, Jake's already figured out how to steer his toy walker with the agility of Barry Sanders.

Best of all, he's immediately stops what he's doing when I say "Jacob David" in my best teacher voice. To maintain the effectiveness of this one, I'm reserving it for the times I need it most (i.e., when he winds up to hit the flat-screen TV with the remote control).

Happy 11 month birthday to the most brilliant 11-month-old ever!!

That boy ain't right

Sometimes I wonder about my little boy,

• when he opens the door repeatedly onto his head, turns back at me and Ben smiling, then goes back to his head banging routine.

• when he tries to nurse my arm or leg, usually leaving behind a disturbingly apparent hickey.

• when he repeatedly pushes his toy walker into a wall, or his crib, or the stove, grunting at the fact that physics defy his will.

• when I walk into his nursery, only to find him crawling around his room with his Leap Frog table stuck on his back.

• when he puts his head face down into the bubble bath, takes a drink of the water, then lifts his head up with a bubbly mustache.

Blue fish nicely complements the flavor of soapy bath water.

And then there's my husband. Ben read Guess How Much I Love You to Jake before bed tonight, and he decided to give Big Nut Brown Hare the voice of that crazy dude played by Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade:

"Hmmm, I love you right up to the moon and, hmmm, back. Hmmm."

Yeah, that boy ain't right.

Motherhood is...

...letting your son empty out the Kleenex box, because it's keeping him happily entertained while you clean the rest of the house.

Dude, I can't believe how many there are...

Not sure I'm cut out for this...

Ben and I knew this day was coming. Jake's been pushing limits for a couple of weeks now - biting while nursing, standing in the bathtub, hitting mama when he wants to nurse, and grabbing daddy's glasses. Right as things were coming to a head, I read this post about discipline from Science of Mom. Unlike SoM, I don't mind the word discipline. I've babysat and worked in daycares with infants and toddlers since I was a kid myself, so I thought while reading her post, "I've totally got this one."

Uh huh, you guessed it; totally bit myself in the a$$. Evidently discipline SUCKS when it's MY baby, 'cuz MY little Jakey is way cute, even when he's misbehaving. Take today's lunch: Jake's newest thing is to drop stuff. The two of us spent 10 minutes this morning dropping his Little People farm animals. He'd pick up the sheep, drop it, pick it up again, repeat. This game carried through to lunch time, when Jake decided to drop his tortellini on the floor. I asked him if he was done, he picked up another piece of pasta, looked at me, and *DROP*, followed by the cutest evil baby laugh ever. (Yes, Jake has an evil baby laugh; doesn't every baby?)

What a good disciplining mom would have done: say "no" and end lunch time. What I did: tried my best not to spit tomato juice at my son, turned away toward Ben, and shook with silent laughter for the next three minutes. Moment for discipline passed. Fortunately, I'm doing better on other fronts, but it still totally sucks. Why? Because here's what discipline means:

• When Jake bites during nursing, usually at night, it's time to go to bed. I don't see him very often during the week, and I usually get home right at bed time, so putting him down so quickly after our prayers makes me sad. But I do it anyways.

• When Jake hits mama's chest as a sign that he wants to nurse, I show him the sign for milk instead of immediately letting him nurse. He hasn't himself used the sign yet, and he gets frustrated waiting. But I teach him anyways. 

• When Jake stands in the bathtub, it's time to get out. Bath time is by far the best time of the evenings for us, followed by horrid things like putting on diapers and pajamas. *shudder* I hate it when Jake's behavior makes bath time end so quickly. But I end it anyways.

• When Jake pulls mama's hair or grabs daddy's glasses, it's time to be put down. Even when our cuddle time is already limited. Even when putting him down turns those brilliant laughs into painful (crocodile) tears. But we put him down anyways.

It's been a difficult first week of discipline in the Jakey household, but I think we're gaining some traction. The biting has decreased, he's no longer hitting me when he wants to nurse, and I'm certain bath time will improve any day now. Even when Jake disobeys, he pauses when we say "no," just before deciding to push his boundaries. So maybe there's hope, so long as I can be inoculated against the powers of his laugh - that frickin' precious evil baby laugh.

Muwhahahaha!!!!!!