But my baby boy is starting to wean; table foods are evidently a much more preferable way to get his fill than through Mama (can I really blame him?). Our only consistently remaining nursing session is at 5 am, and Jake's even skipped that one a few times this past week. Along with his recently-acquired ability to stand unassisted, and the walking skills he's honing with his push cart, this is further evidence that our little Jakey is growing up, and I'm not sure I approve. Not that I don't appreciate the sleep (I DO!!!!), but I miss those peaceful moments, in the quiet before dawn, rocking my little boy in his nursery. For all its difficulties, nursing Jake has been an incredibly moving experience that I wouldn't trade for anything.
On the other hand, the day will come when I won't think twice about a glass of wine with lunch on the weekends, and I won't have to drop what I'm doing at feeding time. I'll no longer experience the awkwardness of breastfeeding in public, and I won't have to field questions like "exactly how long do you plan to breastfeed" (is that really an appropriate question to ask a coworker?). This bittersweet juxtaposition of yearning and promise is the reality of parenthood and life, and I keep reminding myself: the past is beautiful, but the future is evermore glorious.
So here's to moving on and growing up. Happy (almost) 10 months Jakey; I can't wait to see what happens next!
|Jake celebrating... his shoes|